Magnet

I went to an internet security meeting at Salvador's school this evening, as I left I told the Headmistress that I would be putting a magnet on my hard drive as soon as I got home. The scary tales of Bebo, Myspace and teenage code words mean that I will have to cable tie Salvador's hands together before long as well. My favourite bit of teenage shorthand was POS (Parent Over Shoulder) to be used when prying Daddy is looking for salacious gossip on screen.

Rihanna

I entered a poetry competition online last week, the prize was a trip to see Rihanna launch her new album at Brixton Academy. I wasn't particularly fussed about seeing Rihanna but I quite liked the idea of winning a poetry competition. The 'exclusive' concert is tonight, it's 7.45pm and I am in Swindon and she is in Brixton so I reckon I haven't won. Her album launch is sponsored by Nokia and apparently there is a Rihanna talking widget for their phones to back this up. Personally I would settle for a Nokia that doesn't freeze every time I try to look at the local paper on it. I'm not sure why I didn't win because I reckon my poem encapsulated Rihanna's recent history and current sponsorship deal. A knowledge of naked celebrity photo's taken in bathroom mirrors may help you further understand the depth of my work. Do some research, I know I did.

Here it is -

Rihanna (Poem)

Some people forget so easy

that mobile phones are tools of the sleazy

Snapping away in a hotel mirror

a pervy boyfriend thinks - 'I'm on to a winner'

He peppers pixels to the paps

of lovely Rihanna draped next to taps

She was livid with her fella

I won't even say where she stuck that umbrella

Their relationship got much rockier

so she jumped in bed with the guys from Nokia

As for him he got the digit

and a lifetime ban from clicking her widget.

Easyrider

The Cookie Monster fuzz mouths of a couple of Hells Angels stuffing mid-morning burgers in a lay-by on the A40 made my jaw drop today. Not because they were choosing to eat from a very dubious looking Portakabin and its even more dubious looking head chef. I was more interested in their gleaming, extravagantly handle-barred Chopper's and more specifically the unusual cargo they were pulling. In a glass trailer behind one of the bikes was a grey coffin. As they had a menacing conversation about ketchup, burnt onions and being misunderstood their mate was lying in state surrounded by cardboard, smelling of pachouli in a fish tank on the back of a Harley. It's what he would have wanted.

Daddy- 'Salvador, say one word to describe Mummy'

A full 2 minutes contemplation

Salvador - 'Cheese'

Mummy - 'Salvador, say one word to describe Daddy'

Immediate response

Salvador - 'Cucumber'

Been difficult to keep all the plates spinning lately

Salvador at the Forest Festival today

Salvador loved the drumming workshop a the Lawns today. It did my headache the world of good.

Salvador, Wall E & Eve

Salvador unimpressed by slide stealer

Salvador in front of the white boat, 'what colour is it Salvador ?' 'White .... not that one, the white one in the blue ocean'. 'Go and stand by it'.

Salvador gives Izzy a kiss and cleverly maintains her silence