We chanced upon an unbelievable spectacle tonight in the form of 'Mis (sic) Universe Peru' on national TV.
It was a genuine throwback to the 70's with a lot of chiffon and an Eric Morley lookey likey hosting proceedings.
Spectacular Inca dance routines (the Inca's were renowned of course for their gyrating disco style) filled the gaps between the girls sashaying down the catwalk.
It appears that a lengthy and detailed search had taken place to find twenty five of the ugliest women in Peru (possibly in South America) and then parade them in various states of undress around monuments in Lima.
One especially moving montage featured the girls draped over a submarine grinning inanely before bursting into a badly dubbed, vomit inducing song.
We didn't stick around to see who won, the programme was far to distressing.