We'll be off to the local lap-dancing club 'Peppermint Llama' later as a prelude to our day locked in the house tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing the dancers doff their traditional hats then lift their ponchos to reveal their Inca jewels. I won't be expecting any British taxpayers to pay for my trip though. I think today is going to be supermarket, visit the market to panic buy a 50 kg sack of sugar, tidy up and make sure no alcohol is sold in the cafe. I've made Ali a sign so that she doesn't have to keep repeating herself. I'm beginning to think that it might be better if they all voted drunk.