The England v Paraguay Match - Moni Cafe Cusco Chronology.

6.30am I get up, convinced I have got the time of the game wrong.

6.32am Graham Taylor tells me the stadium is still empty so I have a bath.

7.00am I go to the cafe.

7.05am I wire the laptop up to the cafe sound system and panic inwardly whilst drinking unhealthy amounts of coffee.

7.07am Ali arrives and dutifully puts her England shirt on.

7.20am Five Live read out an email I sent them gloating about watching the game in Peru (they are unaware I would give anything to be watching the game in the sun in Swindon).

7.30am The TV is still showing locals talking about the next strike they are going to call.

7.32am Miriam arrives with Josue.

7.35am A girl arrives for a job interview I knew nothing about.

7.36am I run home to get Esther.

7.37am Esther still has her pyjamas on.

7.40am The first tourists arrive.

7.42am Miriam suggests attempting to wire the TV up to the Cable system.

7.44am Esther arrives and along with Miriam attempts to make an illegal cable TV connection from the supply upstairs.

7.48am Through a very snowy signal I can still pick out locals talking about strikes.

7.53am Esther & Miriam are now manhandling the TV all over the place and changing every setting possible.

7.56am I am laughing and joking with the tourists through one side of my mouth and swearing at Esther and Miriam in Spanish through the other.

7.58am Coverage starts on local TV.

7.59am The antenna is re-installed and picture adjusted back to how it was.

8.00am The game starts.

8.01am Esther starts job interview with girl.

8.02am Esther concludes job interview with girl.

8.04am Paraguay score and England win.